Tag Archives: marilyn manson

New York me, please! Just do it!

5 Jan

2012 was a super shitty year. It was a killing-dreams-sucking-the-life-out-harsh-and-disappointing year. Life is always unfair, it brings down. Unsolved problems and unfulfilled dreams bring down. But when a new year comes we try to forget and forgive. Forget all the problems because people prone to be fed with the hope even when the fridge is empty. Forgive people and ourselves because there is no point in cherishing hatred. Even those who have a broken bottle of wine instead of a heart secretly believe in love. New Year is the summing up of all we’ve done and felt during one year. Everybody believes in what I have just written. You know why? Because we think that the next year is the next chance. One more trial, one more step and attempt and maybe our dreams will come true. Everybody is miserable, some people realized it and some of them still stay in a dark room waiting for a guiding light. Those are happy who become blind after they spend 100 years in a dark room.

As for me I have realized everything. But please don’t judge me just for dreaming.

My answer is always New York. This is the “boiling point”, “the reference point”. The place where a life begins.

Is there anything more beautiful than Times Square during New Year’s Eve or Monica Bellucci? Let’s talk about the Big Apple.

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I watched the video in YouTube. That was the biggest shake of the New Year. Can you imagine? Times Square, New York City, 1 million people around counting out 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and HAPPHY NEW YEAR! The small plaza exploded with fireworks, confetti, shouts, hugs, kisses, flashes, smiles and tears! Oh I was suffering! Goosebumps could have devoured me! This video fucking tore me apart.

Now some words about how I spent the New Year Eve.

I stayed at my place, ate food and watched House M.D. That is exactly what I did the year before. It is even symbolic. With elements of pathetics and irony. If to look back on my life one can see it is a big ironic ass kick.

Why at home? You know rock stars never have friends, never ever, yeh?

I am the one who rewies different movies or series for many times. House is my favorite one. Maybe I just wanted to meet a New Year with someone I love…

I also admit that I was depressed for some period of time, the fact that I’m writing means I’m done with rehabilitation. I’m pure, virgin pure. It’s time to look for the cure!

The cure is the black and white Rock’n’Roll – the quintessence of everything. This is not about 30 Seconds to Mars, Marilyn Manson or other cheap shit. Enough!

Now I wanna show my “Inspirational Letter”. It is to help me keep on moving and breathe. This is just placebo but never mind.

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Charging… Clear! He’s back. The cockroach’s back!

He knows that one day he will be there, no matter what way, doen’t matter what number, being one of the million is even better because nobody cared about psy and other “stars” who were stupidly standing in the “special star place”. Fuck them, fuck their gangnam style, all the shit is in sewage.

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Love

12 Jul

Love

I said I’d never write about love. But I couldn’t help. I want to write about how painful loving the one who will never be with you is.

All of us know the feeling when there’s something wambling and wambling in your stomach. It’s like rolling from a 400 feet hill down when your suprarenal glands release adrenaline and all you can is to soundlessly scream inside and barely breath.

So the grimmest things are: the fact that you can’t say how much you love the person and that in some days you’ll have to leave and will never see this person again…

Memories:

I won’t tell the name of my love, I will just call it “this person” or “it”. It will be less painful for me. From the moment I first saw this person I could never think I would fall in love with it. It only proves that love doesn’t know any special canons or prejudices. It proves there is no perfect personality for me. The only I can say about this person is that it is married, in its twentieth, has a child and is not a person of an extraordinary appearance. But this person is clever, witty, wise, interesting, has a great sense of humor and is charming. Just in few hours I realized that I need this person around to help me keep on breathing. I spent almost all my days just being in one room and listening to Courtney Love, Placebo, Marilyn Manson, Amy Winehouse, Evanesence and Madonna waiting for the time I could see my person again. When it was around I was some kind like drunk, like in euphoria, but when my love was not around there was a clod in my throat and I felt pain in my throat and stomach. I should also mention that the place I met this person was in one city in Russia, where I came for 10 days to see my relatives. I have also to mention that the person I fell in love with is not my relative but lived in the neighboring flat and visited the place I lived often. With each passing day I realized I would have to leave for Ukraine soon. So my grief was multiplying. In some moments it hurt more than always. For example when I saw its child and saw that they had the same crystal blue eyes. Or when this person was sitting next to me and watching some stuff on my notebook and then I went to another room to have a mean and when I came back I could still feel the smell of my its body. Or when I was just walking somewhere and could feel the smell of its car. Or when I had to watch my person’s wedding video, where this person is happy not with me, where it promise to love someone else forever and you have to seem to be smiling, to be happy for them. This was just unbearable. Knowing I will never have a chance to hear those Russian notes in voice that accentuate all vowel sounds…  But anyway in the city where there are no friends of mine this person became some kind of my friend, supporting life in me. After all the doom day of coming back home was about to hug me hard. There are no words to describe how painful and… how painful it was. But I had to face it. I had to be strong all the time. Nobody had the right to see my soul, to understand my condition. I think that time is the best healer so I need some time for recovery. I came back home scary and broken.

How does it feel when your love is the biggest secret you ever happened to have. How does it feel when the person you love is your biggest fear? This is the secret you cannot even discuss with your mind. This secret makes you forget about all principles like being yourself and telling the truth. So you don’t know who you are anymore. This is the moment you realize you are being changed. Yes, people do change. Of course this is completely not about telling the truth to the person you love.

In such moment you understand that no one is going to get you, but this is my guilt only. So you make a brave face put on a smile and try to forget that no fucking philosophers’, psychologists’ and friends’ advice will even slightly come to the point of helping you. The best anyone can do is to give you a good friend hug. And the only thing to help is tequila or red wine.

Being ready is being sure in the place and in the person you are going to share your pain or anything else with. So I’m not ready and won’t be ready for a long time more.

03.07.2012

14:54

Russia

“Memories”:

11.07.2012

18:18

Somewhere in Ukraine

Never Gonna Change

12 Jul

Never Gonna Change

Do you know what pain is? All of us definitely know what it is. I’m going to write about people who know what pain is better. Of course they don’t, so I’m going to debunk this crap.

Saying “There’s nothing worser than…” has become a mainstream. Let it be because today I’d like to say: “There’s nothing worser than being addicted to a person who thinks he knows something better or feels something deeper than you do.”

Hey, people, don’t we know what pain is? Haven’t we ever felt so badly that all we wanted was to take a killing dose of drugs? Or at least just close all the doors and cry so hard being isolated? I think if you have ever met surgeons, directors, scientists or musicians you know how dealing with arrogant people feels. These people think that they can do whatever they want which can hurt us. But the hell is when we can’t stop loving these sons of a bitch, we cannot just dump them. I suppose we are just too good people.

Hey, cruel world, hey doctor House, hey Manson, hey Cameron, hey Einstein, we are the same as you. We all suffer, but our pain is hidden in the darkest corners of our souls. It is hidden under smiles, sunglasses and pillows at night. We don’t show it but it doesn’t mean that listening to your pain we can’t understand how deep feelings can be. So we sacrifice every time. Very often they can’t try for us.

The thing is that we love these arrogant morons too much, because they so awesome! But they can’t hurt us, can’t just play with our hearts. Of course people who save lives, create cinema masterpieces, become famous in the world of technologies or those rock stars, who have pain as their inspiration will find it difficult to understand ordinary people. We will never leave you but you should remember that someday you will lose a part of us. Your guilt will come back to bite you in your asses.

All I can wish to other people is to hold on and never let their madness suck the life out of you. Never worry about how they conquer Mariana Trench. This was never our world. Just be yourself and stay with people you love even when they bring you pain from time to time.

What else you should understand is that you have to learn how to rebuff to make sure there’s no halo around their heads. Also no information given was addressed to hurt anybody of my familiar and unfamiliar people or offence them. My article was created to express my anger, fear and insecure.

With all my love and support, just a simple future journalist,

Alex.

Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga – Born To Die

12 May

Why not to die to be born instead of being born to die?

Nature is the most powerful display of birth, death and life. It is called to be the mother of all the existing things. Why not to imagine it to be art? When an oak-tree is born, it is little of course, but then it grows up, develops, it becomes stronger and it becomes obvious that this is a great tree, not a bush. Sometimes it takes much time to complete the process become a huge oak-tree, which has its own place on the ground, which branches contemplate on the sky proudly and as confident as never. Seeing all this power you can’t help enjoying the work of nature, which is tremendous and priceless. From the moment you slightly touch it you discover a new world of fantasies and realities, of different paths and different worlds. Nothing’s impossible, no prejudices, but boundless freedom. Your tiny world becomes too huge to believe it’s real. You try to understand. Yes, it’s almost the point of total understanding and realizing the unseen before, something extraordinary. Is there any other way? No way! It explains everything, it bids your blood to run, you almost understood all the processes of nature! Almost…But suddenly the huge power turns away and shows the other side. This path will definitely lead to feelings that must spread your wings, you’ll be able to fly away. But the path is still unknown. What way should I choose? Should I fight or give up? Should I get down on my knees and pray or be an atheistic jerk? I’ll touch the great power again, there is the answer there! But something happened to your oak-tree. Why don’t you feel anything? Where did it go? Is it me to blame? Or maybe something just has happened to the tree? I can’t handle this. I am something more profound! But the birth of evil outdoor irritants curbed the bliss. The root is bleeding – the tiny particles of light which are only a parody of the late power. It is nothing. Your kidneys brought all the remained drugs out. It is dead.

No more metaphors. Hey Marilyn, where are you now? What has happened to you, the king of teenagers? Can’t believe it may happen to be a golden halo of those woodcutters. You are not so primitive.

So let’s try to make the things that don’t have sense become meaningful.  

Who is or was Marilyn Manson? It is a combination of beauty and ugliness. It is what art means, to my mind. His epatage was not a trick to earn more money or a trial to win New-York’s heart. It was a huge challenge to the society. He had a really complicated message. But most of all by conscious making himself  ugly he wanted to say that inside America looks as well as he is outside, I mean face, some other features. He hated the institution of church, he didn’t want to be a slave. He understood a lot of different serious things. He was rude and confident. He wasn’t afraid of going revolutionary road after all the shit he had to pull through. By his powerful voice and extraordinary expressive appearance he screamed overstraining his throat that he was disagree and he had no idea what other people would think. These weren’t any loud speeches on an arena or plaza, where he would swing his hands trying to make people believe him. It was a thorny path of writing, performing, singing, being an artist. His creative work had always contained complicated problems and symbolism. His core was pierced by pain and fury, it always  waked up a volcano in people’s hearts. But Marilyn was not dump, he was not just an angry kid, he understood that each road of fighting, protesting and evil must (!) lead to love, kindness and peace. That’s why Marilyn Mason was a combination of black and white, that’s why he was Great and Awful, that’s why he was art. No art can be called real art without being based on love and kindness. Without it art becomes rotten and insincere. It is urine. With his rampant rush Marilyn Manson became a creature of worship and hatred from the side of admirers and haters.

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Let’s leave the symbolism and just say that he is not the same as he used to be before. Parts became sluggish and with no rousing notes of anger in his voice. Hoarseness doesn’t work. No passion, no craziness, no power. Just an ordinary VEVO star. Maybe something has happened in his life, maybe he understood something special for himself, maybe he is just tired and has no strength to keep on rocking Marilyn Manson way. Or he just can’t find the sense, art is love, so maybe he just didn’t have time to fell in love so he still remains to be a weird loner… But as he admitted the changes let’s leave him and wish good luck and be happy in life.

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Let’s turn to Lady Gaga – Mother-Monster.

To analyze her creative work we have to go back to basics, turn to her past.

She started her career with first album “Fame”. There were very nice songs there. She wanted to be a star, to look sexy and put on pop shows. She managed to do this.

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Her fame was growing with each passing day, all her dreams were about to come true. “The Fame Monster” was ready. Tremendous success, ecstatic reviews, invitations to the most famous shows in the world, numerous photo sessions, and a successful world tour were just a part of her new life. The life a woman who worked so much, who developed, who had naive dreams, but all this brought her to the place where she can realize herself the way she wants it to be.

Monster Ball Tour. She is the mother of monsters, she was the queen of her own show, she just rocked. Everything was there: good songs, performamces, well-known costumes, tears, smiles, speeches, anger and tenderness. She was sincere and inspired the crowd of fans, who put their hands up and screamed.

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Born This Way era. In 2011 the 3rd album of Lady Gaga was released. To be honest, it is really the best piece of music of 2011. The songs are very good, with good lyrics, good message. Gaga wanted it to important for people, to teach them to be who you are and believe in yourself. All this is of course very good. BUT as for me Gaga became completely dishonest, insincere and greedy for money.

Suddenly Gaga became a devoted fighter for the rights of gays. It is very good, of course, when somebody wants to protect people, but you are free to disagree with me, I think that it is very good for Gaga when those gays buy tickets to her concerts, spend their money on her. There are lots of gays nowadays and they are a great part of Lady Gaga’s monsters.

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Why did such a great album as Born This Way fail? Maybe because people got tired of it? This is not strange. The album was being sold just everywhere: in airports, in shops, in the streets. Gaga was really foisting her album on everyone’s arms. It’s been a year after Born This Way was released but still she is having her new tour. I can compare this work with a cherry chewing-gum. When you put it into your mouth it is tasty, you like it. But after a white the chewing-gum starts losing its taste and in the end becomes tasteless. The same happened to Gaga.

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Born This Way Foundation. It is ridiculous. It is obvious that this program is to bring Gaga nothing but promotion and money. Seriously? You are going to protect gay kids this way? Really? How? Are you going to land them your disco stick so they could punch evil teenagers? Dear Gaga, no more your riding-round-the-country bus, which won’t help, no more eloquent speeches, don’t you pretend to believe this is going to change something. Nobody will follow people who shout their brilliant thoughts from a big arena. Why not to shut up and try to change the world using art and your influence? Why not to be sincere with people? Ah, I have forgotten! This will cut your golden chain.

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Born This Way Ball Tour: The Monster Ball 3.0

It is true that a lot of people wanted to see your new show as you had always been good at it. But when I saw this, I’m sorry, it is pathetic and very dull. I was shocked by costumes and the stage. Lady Gaga, I think with your money spent you could have prepared something much-much-much-much better. Let’s analyze.

First of all the stage looks like a big dark spot. And why a castle? You see Lady Gaga is more and more digressing from Born This Way conception.

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I was also shocked by performances.

Let’s talk about costumes. Frankly speaking, they are ugly. She is not sexy. And I don’t like her huge tails. Sometimes she looks ridiculous and ugly.

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(This Bad Romance costume was definitely for irritating Christians, who has always compare her with the Devil.)

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Also the performances themselves were very weak and dull. For example:

“Bloody Mary” – she was just riding on the stage with this weird costume om, which is often compared with vacuum cleaner. Gaga, is that all you could create for such a great song? Even a cat and a dog would put on a better show.

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“Heavy Metal Lover” – I waited so much from this performance! Riding on a bike with your ass being smacked. Is that all? Where is your “full house of leather”, where is glitter, depravity, rousing dancing in erotic costumes? Shame on you!

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What about “You and I”? Indeed it is a very good song. One of the best ballads. But Gaga spoilt it with her water-nymphs. While she was singing it, the half of the song she just hold he hand raised up and the rest part of the song she spent on a piano-bike. Well done! Horrible!

Another performance just killed me. It is a naked stealing of a well-known Madonna’s performance from Blond Ambition Tour. Gays, sofa, pointed bra. It looks like Gaga to be project which is called “Let’s take the best from Madonna and make it appropriate for modern generation”.

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But the most horrible thing about Born This Way Ball is Gaga’s emotionless face. Look. It is stony. Where are your emotions? Where are tears, happiness, kindness and anger? Where’s fighting and love? This time you don’t bring peace and freedom, you don’t inspire! You are a Monster! An evil Monster. We can’t read your Poker Face, so it means you are just being insincere. It’s a pity. Look at her face!

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Have you ever pondered over why Gaga started her tour from Asia? Because America is awfully tired of Lady Gaga and in Asia she is something new and interesting, so she went there to make an experiment, to create something new and interesting with what she’ll be able to come to Europe and USA. This will just warm up the interest to her. So the conclusion is that Born This Way Ball is nothing but chasing money and selling “Lady Gaga” product.

Dear Lady Gaga! I am person with an immortal hope, so I hope that you’ll change. You should understand who you want to be. Stop being a product and become an artist again. But you already lost. While you are thinking and putting BTW Ball on, something strong, great and powerful is coming. This is a tornado which will crash all of you. There is no way to survive, the next big thing to bite you in your ass has written a great number of great songs. By the way, she is not interested in money and stupid charts, because she is already confident in her talent, power and sexuality.

Good luck,

Alex