Tag Archives: life

Journalism As It Is

16 Jun

Let’s start with saying that no profession is a cakewalk. But they say we can be happy doing what we truly love to do, no matter how complicated or challenging it can get.

Journalism is considered to be one of the most interesting but at the same time the most difficult professions.

The reason why I’m writing all this is to express my negative point of view about the profession that I’m going to choose.

You are free to disagree with me but I think that journalism is too dependent. If you work for some magazine or a TV company, you are expected to consider the policy of the employee. There is no way you can do what you want when people who hire you have an individual format and they fight for it. For example, you will have to do an exactly that kind of a reportage you are expected to do. You will have to study the previous work of the institution you work for and put into practice this or that pattern. Things can go really crazy: the editor can either transform your article beyond recognition or give you his own words to write so the work could match “the pattern”. I consider this way of a journalists’ work to be wrong and irrational. First of all it excludes journalism from the list of creative professions. Obviously creative work, or art which it is, can’t exist without freedom of choice and creative individual thinking. Also there is no chance a professional writer, a journalist can grow up in his field being stuck in one unchangeable format. You can’t broaden your mind or change for better if all you do is follow strict examples and don’t change at all. You have to try yourself in different styles, you have to find your own one; a good professional should be flexible. To grow up, to change something you have to quit your comfort zone. Moreover if you want your business or your job to be successful you shouldn’t stop at some points. If you feel that you are the best or you’ve reached all the big success you should start moving to another side, try something new. If you stop you may just become a piece of shit.

Another problem is journalism being all about “write the way all people could understand it”. Writing some stupid and inelaborate stuff for stupid people who don’t want to think is overwhelming. There is a great chance that you will be made to write about such dull and unnecessary things like personal life of celebrities or the City’s Day concert. This isn’t important, you don’t help people, you don’t write about the real problems and that interesting way the planet is moving. But to my great disappointment stupid news are demanded by people, it’s just what they want. So a journalist is a bitch of the society.

Spending all the time in the water of stupid events and uncreative work can make a person be the fish of his working river. This is an opposite process of growing up and becoming better as a professional.

Sometimes when I think about the work a journalist has to do it makes me wanna puke. Just one simple example: I am to interview some famous musician. From my point of view the interview should go about music, art, thoughts, feelings and so on. How can I accomplish my own task if I have to talk about a singer’s pregnancy? How can I be a great professional if I am told the way I should write? Steve Jobs said “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.” There’s no need to explain how these words are related to journalism.

With all the bad things I have described I still think that you can turn journalism to an opposite side. If one wants journalism to be creative work, if one wants independence of writing and working with really interesting stuff he or she should create its own “journalism platform”. Let it be a magazine for example. But this idea will work out only when really hard work, talent, strong will, revolutionary ideas, the ability to put people together and money become a unified power.

It’s necessary to say that journalism is a great way to write stupid things out of your head and your writing style. But it’s for those who decided to go down the road where journalism is just 1 mile highway full of bricks and tricky turns.

It’s necessary to admit that being a journalist can get you some necessary acquaintances.

I think it’s great that I realized all these things so early. It means I won’t face too much disappointment in future.

This or that way you are to choose your own life. I believe that hard work, a desire and a talent can get you any type of journalism. We are to decide what to do. No one said it’s gonna be easy, but still no one said it’s impossible.

New York me, please! Just do it!

5 Jan

2012 was a super shitty year. It was a killing-dreams-sucking-the-life-out-harsh-and-disappointing year. Life is always unfair, it brings down. Unsolved problems and unfulfilled dreams bring down. But when a new year comes we try to forget and forgive. Forget all the problems because people prone to be fed with the hope even when the fridge is empty. Forgive people and ourselves because there is no point in cherishing hatred. Even those who have a broken bottle of wine instead of a heart secretly believe in love. New Year is the summing up of all we’ve done and felt during one year. Everybody believes in what I have just written. You know why? Because we think that the next year is the next chance. One more trial, one more step and attempt and maybe our dreams will come true. Everybody is miserable, some people realized it and some of them still stay in a dark room waiting for a guiding light. Those are happy who become blind after they spend 100 years in a dark room.

As for me I have realized everything. But please don’t judge me just for dreaming.

My answer is always New York. This is the “boiling point”, “the reference point”. The place where a life begins.

Is there anything more beautiful than Times Square during New Year’s Eve or Monica Bellucci? Let’s talk about the Big Apple.


I watched the video in YouTube. That was the biggest shake of the New Year. Can you imagine? Times Square, New York City, 1 million people around counting out 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and HAPPHY NEW YEAR! The small plaza exploded with fireworks, confetti, shouts, hugs, kisses, flashes, smiles and tears! Oh I was suffering! Goosebumps could have devoured me! This video fucking tore me apart.

Now some words about how I spent the New Year Eve.

I stayed at my place, ate food and watched House M.D. That is exactly what I did the year before. It is even symbolic. With elements of pathetics and irony. If to look back on my life one can see it is a big ironic ass kick.

Why at home? You know rock stars never have friends, never ever, yeh?

I am the one who rewies different movies or series for many times. House is my favorite one. Maybe I just wanted to meet a New Year with someone I love…

I also admit that I was depressed for some period of time, the fact that I’m writing means I’m done with rehabilitation. I’m pure, virgin pure. It’s time to look for the cure!

The cure is the black and white Rock’n’Roll – the quintessence of everything. This is not about 30 Seconds to Mars, Marilyn Manson or other cheap shit. Enough!

Now I wanna show my “Inspirational Letter”. It is to help me keep on moving and breathe. This is just placebo but never mind.


Charging… Clear! He’s back. The cockroach’s back!

He knows that one day he will be there, no matter what way, doen’t matter what number, being one of the million is even better because nobody cared about psy and other “stars” who were stupidly standing in the “special star place”. Fuck them, fuck their gangnam style, all the shit is in sewage.


26 Feb

I wanna be uncool!

                                       Courtney Love


“Courtney Love – Uncool” 

I was impressed by this song. I am not sure I have a brilliant understanding of the meaning of it, but its conception impressed me and inspired me, shortly made my brain flood with thoughts.

My company’s so cheap

I don’t mean to be haughty or too clever or too adult or too immodest or too self-confident. I mean to be myself. I find a lot of people idiotic. Now I’m having such a period when the voices of different people freak me out even more than the “art” of Nicki Minaj. Tonight my costume is a strong wind and I blow away every time I see something that is not interesting for me. Sometimes I hurt people by it, I hurt myself, I move away from people, dooming myself to be alone. But I can take it. There is nothing more terrifying for me than lying to myself again and again and in the same time limiting me freedom. I don’t need those friends talking behind my back, those teachers who want to share their “life experience” and judging if you think it is not for you. They don’t know the way I am, don’t know my path, they haven’t reached anything really great. It takes me down so much. I’m not gonna say that I am the cleverest here or the best or that I can do everything, I can’t! I always say to myself “Don’t relax, idiot, you have to fight and fight”. I have to learn lots of things, but now I’m trying to follow my heart. Because I don’t need those lessons someone else learned. Those people. Good God! They are so stupid! They are in the cage on the bottom of the ocean, they locked themselves there, put imaginary shark-guards outside and keep on being there, having a key in their hands. Do you remember those shark-guards are imaginary? They complain they are tired of their life. They have to do things they don’t wanna do, bringing the mood of others down. GET YOUR ASS UP AND UNLOCK THE CAGE! THERE ARE NO SHARKS THERE! Isn’t such a life empty? After all you can swim wherever you want…
 I don’t need your respect or your friendship, I don’t want you to be nice with me. I don’t. I appreciate people who are near me. They understand that this is the way I am. They say I am a weird one in a good sense. I like it.

 And all my grief keeps multipying and I pretend to feel no pain.    

    What can I say? You may say “Poor little boy. He doesn’t know the real life, so why is he complaining?” I can say that I suffer every day. You may answer “Are you too grown up? Too clever? Oh Alex! You are just a kid!”. You may be right, but in the times I become an ass and seem to be like those words, I just try to stay strong. I feel like in prison. I can’t do the thing I wanna do, I have to be surrounded by clinic idiots, who I hate. So please, don’t judge me, ‘cause you never know what might happen to a person. You may say I am so into the future. But I can’t breathe in the present. I am a “future guy”, but still I try to be bound to now, because I love my life with all its freaks.  

My stepfather’s words: “This is your holy duty!”

This phrase blew my mind out! Seriously? Must I read these 300 pages of school bulshit? Is it my duty? To whom am I obliged? To those hypocritical people at school? Maybe for you? Or for our minister of education, who firstly started the auto examinations which helped clever people from poor families to enter a prestigious university and then that minister started entering exams again, which will bring boys and girls with rich daddies enter a university not because of knowledge, but because of a heavy purse! Where is the truth? So whom am I obliged to all this? To whom? God! How can we do anything for people who steal our money, who bring us lower than other people? So shut your fucking mouth up and understand that we mustn’t do anything for them! And don’t you dare to give me any instructions about my “holy duties”! This is my life and I won’t allow this disrespect!
But anyway he answered: «There are a lot of things I have to do at work, which I don’t like to do.” So what does it mean? That I should be like a zombie-prisoner? It’s like standing on the edge of nowhere. You don’t jump just because they say you are still “obliged”. So for what to study at school, doing the things you hate, just to be at a new place where you will have to do the same? Like my dad? NO WAY! I don’t need your money, I don’t need your Power Plants and army, I don’t need your slavery. I just wanna enjoy the thing I like to do. That’s all. I will better be nobody being someone (I mean I will stand on my own, living my own independent life) than being somebody with those $375 but with a hole in my sole.  
People! I pray for you! For those who can find a gun of bravery and shout all these dogs who are trying to bite you in your ass down. I take my imaginary hat off for you! And wish you 2 main things: to stay strong and be healthy for it.

              Am I gonna lose?

Oh please! What to lose? You know you can do anything when you have nothing left to lose. Follow your dream no matter what! They are just a crowd! Let these words stay in your mind! They will never understand if you say you are not going to pass any exams like others do or if you say you are about to leave your uni! Just watch them all being shocked with an artless smile on your face. I am with you watching them all be burned.


Yeah baby! You think I am uncool! Ok! I am. And I happy! I will keep on playing my Russian roulette peeing when winning and sewing all the holes in my head up, because I am not afraid of being uncool. I will leave this town with a rock show, telling to all the haters or other dirt which can stick to my shoes. I am not gonna have less. I don’t know if I deserve all these above, but I believe that I do. I am not perfect. Please, don’t like me, try to stop me, but you should know that when a bear tries to find some food he will kill you to put you in his mouth.
But remember: Mona Lisa is so small, but a masterpiece, you know?

LET   –   ME  –   BE   –   UNCOOL