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Amy Winehouse

8 Jan

This is not dedicated to her death or birthday anniversary. It’s about Amy’s art.

She was always laughed at. Paparazzi did their job well taking pictures of her drunk or “ridiculus”. But  the moment she died was the upgrade of her career. The minute ago she was the dirt, the next moment “Back To Black” is on the top of Billbord and her creative work is risen up to the skies.

Amy was a gifted girl. She has opened the sacred secret of love and feelings.

Her songs reflect pain, sorrow, not sadness, grief, tears and … humility. She wasn’t protesting, didn’t maked a big show of “words-and-no-deeds”. She sang soul songs. Painful, profound and inconsolable songs.

When I plunge her songs I fell that she loved and failed, loved so much she died. Amy burned black, died for love in all ways, ispecially physically. They said she needed rehab, drugs killed her. Of course journalists are good at overplaying and telling lies. They will raze to the ground anyone to get a great blatant story.

“Love is loosing game”. She wished she had never played this game. Life is a loosing game, Amy, yes? We all are seeking the raison d’etre even in semirandom events. We all can’t admit that we’ll die and will never care again about anything. There is nothing there. What a wonder to find your love and stop seeking because you already know the answer. How great and priceless it is. How painfully it hits.

Amy Winehouse failed. Like all of us will do. Some people will call this “the path of least resistance”. But he walked away and never came back. The grief and pain she had to face. So much was cried out and written out.

And those people and mass media. Their “Rehabilitaion”. She didn’t care. Didn’t want to go there. Because she already knew the end.

Amy Winehouse burned to ashes, she knew everything and was ready. Why suffer, why wake up alone, why suffer?

Some of us will see a crazy addict bitch, some of us wil see a girl who was killed by love.

And one more thing that irritates. 27 years old, alcohol, drugs, music, death… This is the classic Rock’n’Roll story. How much money those madmen got. But they don’t see the tragedy. This  cynicism afficts so much. Those morons trivialize music and art.

“They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no! I ain’t got the time”. Don’t go.

Do you yearn? Because I do.

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New York me, please! Just do it!

5 Jan

2012 was a super shitty year. It was a killing-dreams-sucking-the-life-out-harsh-and-disappointing year. Life is always unfair, it brings down. Unsolved problems and unfulfilled dreams bring down. But when a new year comes we try to forget and forgive. Forget all the problems because people prone to be fed with the hope even when the fridge is empty. Forgive people and ourselves because there is no point in cherishing hatred. Even those who have a broken bottle of wine instead of a heart secretly believe in love. New Year is the summing up of all we’ve done and felt during one year. Everybody believes in what I have just written. You know why? Because we think that the next year is the next chance. One more trial, one more step and attempt and maybe our dreams will come true. Everybody is miserable, some people realized it and some of them still stay in a dark room waiting for a guiding light. Those are happy who become blind after they spend 100 years in a dark room.

As for me I have realized everything. But please don’t judge me just for dreaming.

My answer is always New York. This is the “boiling point”, “the reference point”. The place where a life begins.

Is there anything more beautiful than Times Square during New Year’s Eve or Monica Bellucci? Let’s talk about the Big Apple.

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I watched the video in YouTube. That was the biggest shake of the New Year. Can you imagine? Times Square, New York City, 1 million people around counting out 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and HAPPHY NEW YEAR! The small plaza exploded with fireworks, confetti, shouts, hugs, kisses, flashes, smiles and tears! Oh I was suffering! Goosebumps could have devoured me! This video fucking tore me apart.

Now some words about how I spent the New Year Eve.

I stayed at my place, ate food and watched House M.D. That is exactly what I did the year before. It is even symbolic. With elements of pathetics and irony. If to look back on my life one can see it is a big ironic ass kick.

Why at home? You know rock stars never have friends, never ever, yeh?

I am the one who rewies different movies or series for many times. House is my favorite one. Maybe I just wanted to meet a New Year with someone I love…

I also admit that I was depressed for some period of time, the fact that I’m writing means I’m done with rehabilitation. I’m pure, virgin pure. It’s time to look for the cure!

The cure is the black and white Rock’n’Roll – the quintessence of everything. This is not about 30 Seconds to Mars, Marilyn Manson or other cheap shit. Enough!

Now I wanna show my “Inspirational Letter”. It is to help me keep on moving and breathe. This is just placebo but never mind.

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Charging… Clear! He’s back. The cockroach’s back!

He knows that one day he will be there, no matter what way, doen’t matter what number, being one of the million is even better because nobody cared about psy and other “stars” who were stupidly standing in the “special star place”. Fuck them, fuck their gangnam style, all the shit is in sewage.

Brokeback Mountain Forbidden Love

30 Aug

You only see what your eyes want to see.

You’re frozen when youre heart’s not open.

Madonna

2 days ago I would say there is no movie to be compared with “Titanic”. I was wrong. There is another beautiful and tragic story, meaningful, covering the truth of life and love. “Brokeback Mountain” excited me the strongest way. It is a particle of light; it is art. We should consider it from the artistic point of view. This is not about gays, not about bisexuals either; it’s about the core of love and humanity. As soon as I consider this work as art my point of view becomes ultra-subjective, because everyone has the truth, the truth of art is very personal because the artist leaves only questions to be answered by those who get affected. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong. It’s all about impression and emotions. How can we judge leaves for being green?

Why is this story so grim and heartbreaking, breathtaking? It illuminates the harsh truth of modern society and eternal problems, tragedies.

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Why not about gays if we can see two men having sexual experience with each other?  Because it is all about pure love. This feeling doesn’t know boundaries, limits, ages, sexes or nationalities. This movie, this book tell that love which is not a conception of some stereotypes or shapes that society has created. We can’t judge leaves for being green, you remember?

Now I’d like to say some words about homophobes who denied watching the movie despite the actors were just perfect. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are truly outstanding actors. People who don’t understand the main idea only see what their eyes want to see. They see two gays or bisexuals who have sex, which is just disgusting. I see another picture. This is not about my sexual orientation, I just can go deeper. Once you really fall in love you understand that the rest of people and the rest of life gets white and stays backstage.

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I can see that love in this work of art was spontaneous; it was on fire for a long time. I don’t give a fuck if they were men or women or heterosexual, I can see the beauty and perfection. What makes us get up and die, get up and die… From time to time we could think that the fire stopped but it never did. This love embraced pain, tears, happiness and pureness. That passion in which rare meetings added fuel to the fire… Have you ever fell in love?

But the story broke my heart. Even not the story but the catalyzer of all bad things happened there. People… sweet beautiful people. The society, from the capitol “S”. The society which the humanity is so proud of. That is the main problem. Have you ever been miles away from your love? Have you ever had the experience of not kissing your love for a long period of time? Wouldn’t you be angry or despair? People didn’t give those characters a chance to be just happy, just to live their own lives like all we do. Do you fucking think that you are damn gods to decide what’s right and what’s not? So the influence of people is the symbol of how some representatives of humanity are being stupid and don’t know they are destroying others. And the fact the love was “forbidden” means that we are going to rot in the hole of our own prejudices, idiotic worldview and fighting for what we really don’t know anything about. The end of the story as we know is sad. The death of Jack was ambiguous, from the one hand he died accidently, from the other hand he was murdered by homophobes. This is the symbol of people’s hypocrisy. When they say “It was an accident, but in the reality it’s all a big piece of shit, because it was a murder, intentional murder, the crime against humanity, against love. This means people kill love, kill life. After Jack’s death Ennis was alone in the trailer park, he didn’t die, but he was never in this world again. The last his words we can hear were “Jack, I swear” with tears on his eyes, touching Jacks’s shirt tucked inside of Enni’s one as the symbol of eternity and immovability of love. Love can’t die, it just moves to other dimensions. “I swear” to love, to remember, to never give up on you…

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There is no sexuality, no orientation, no argues, nothing, ‘cause when it’s love you gotta fly. I’m not going to waste my time on those who can’t understand this, whose “love” is limited by sex, presents, walks and sex. I’m talking about something more profound. This just is not your business. I may be not the best writer, not the best “feelings-expresser” but I can feel in my heart. My heart’s breaking when I realize how many jerks ruin other’s lives, when they try to make leaves be black. Love is so rare, so catch it, run to it, never let it go, it is so rare… Find your sense in art/love which is actually the same.

I’ll be your lover, I’ll be forever (inspired by “The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer”)

14 Jun

It has always been interesting to dig in someone else’s head. You can IMAGINE different situations, not yours, feel someone ELSE’S pain, not yours, and finally get your own OPINION to situations you may read about. Let’s face it: feeling the pain of other person is more pleasant than feeling yours one. That is one of the reasons why we read books.

Recently I have read “The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer”. I have to say that this is a great book. It is well-written, interesting and some kind of unusual.

The story is about a little a girl in a cute dress in the best society. After that a reader faces the secret of Laura. This secret is her enemy. This is BOB. During reading the story you have to realize who is BOB and if he is real or not.

As to the content BOB is someone who abused Laura, humiliated her and from my point of view screwed up her mental state.

Who she became?

To answer this question we should find the answer for this question:

Who she was?

She was just a girl, who had just started her “life search” with innocent thoughts and actions. This can be said about her experience with boys in the wood. Just naked bodies, but no sex.

But she changed. BOB changed her. She became a drug addicted, sex addicted confused girl. She thought she was a bad person, dirty, stupid girl who deserves to die. I suppose she was controlled by constant fear of meeting BOB.

Laura Palmer became just nothing. She was a depth of lies, drugs, sex and criminal. She understood that life is all about being happy, really happy, but I bet Laura couldn’t find happiness in things which were appropriate for a whore.

The level of happiness was again controlled by fear. She didn’t know if she was allowed to have beautiful, innocent feelings and thoughts (like love). She knew that BOB would never allow this.

How could Laura stay in the place where the walls expressed beauty and innocence? She couldn’t, didn’t deserve it. She understood that her soul becomes having more and more holes, she was dying.

I can also analyze the character from another side. She split into two branches, one of which has dark beginning and the other one conceals the girl, who just wanted to be like others and happy. These parts of Laura’s soul were always in struggle. The second, “beautiful” part of Lora Palmer always tried to reach for light like branches of a tree reach for sun. It showed itself in communication with little Johnny, who was pure and innocent, he was her absolute opposite. Anyway she was afraid to touch something so perfect, she was too depraved. We can also see her kindness in helping old people. But every time she touched the beauty something violent was coming again. The cracks in her soul were too real.

It is necessary to mention about Laura’s pony. Once it was happy with its family, which I mean Laura, but then something happened and this pony had to be alone and struggle. Finally it was shot in the head. It does remind me someone else. I think this is a symbol of what happened to Lora.

Self-destruction always leads to emptiness, so called death. Perceive it as a metaphor or not but in the end there is nothing but emptiness and infinity. Laura died.

To understand why Lora died we need to understand why people drink. To seem cool? – No. For taste? – Hardly. To stay funny? – Doesn’t fit. To relieve pain? – Closer. Laura Palmer being a teenager felt so much pain and fear that sex and cocaine work like vicodin to a person with chronic aches in leg. But finally it didn’t work. The process could never be stopped and was accompanied by different symbols like the killed cat of a little girl or dreams where she violently died, or something like paranoid ideas, again dreams with black sky and even sex became the act of revenge. Everything she touched dried and died. To forget, to survive, to live one more day, to relieve pain, but just not to die.  That is what Laura had in her had. Sex and drugs brought her satisfaction as her dying world couldn’t get closer to something less primitive.

So who is BOB? Is it the part of Laura, her core, her mind or is this a real person who abused and scared the young girl time after time? Both. The part of fear and BOB’s impact on her became her core, where she became numb. This is the reason why Laura couldn’t hold resistance to him, couldn’t give up drugs and change. From the other side BOB was just a maniacal ass whose hobby was to abuse a young girl and make her think she was mad. Who knows how the situation would have turned out if BOB had been just a normal guy.

I sincerely feel sorry for Lora and hope that this always misunderstood girl found her eternal peace.

This is how I understood the secret of Laura’s diary. The best part of the book is that the reader is to decide. To decide who BOB was, why her world was destroyed and by whom. So there is no wrong conclusion. The worst part of the book is that you may find yourself in Lora’s first thoughts and actions, because they were always true and naked. This is about what we are afraid to confess even ourselves.

“Weep” by Reamonn

She turns she burns she feels concealed by

someone that she doesn’t know

She hopes someday he’ll find his way into
these tears that she weeps
She knows she gave she feels enslaved by
what she gave too easily

She hopes in time she waits in line for all
these things that will make her
real

I feel that she woke up feel she’s had
enough

Feel it’s time she opened up her eyes
I feel that she woke up feel she’s had
enough

Feel it’s time she opened up her eyes

She holds the cold she feels so fooled by
all this pain she has revealed

She hopes she cries she holds inside all
these things that will make her real

She screams put your hands on me
Put your hands on me put your hands on
I need to feel you touch
Put your hands on me put your hands on
I need to feel you touch

I feel she’s got to open up her eyes

Put your hands on me

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P.S. Not accepting eternity I’m lying to myself again just NOT to close my eyes and never wake up. With this note I’m finishing my article, dedicated not only to Laura Palmer and my thoughts, but to that one, whose soul name will stand out in all its beauty on my body. All comes with years. With years and to eternity.

Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga – Born To Die

12 May

Why not to die to be born instead of being born to die?

Nature is the most powerful display of birth, death and life. It is called to be the mother of all the existing things. Why not to imagine it to be art? When an oak-tree is born, it is little of course, but then it grows up, develops, it becomes stronger and it becomes obvious that this is a great tree, not a bush. Sometimes it takes much time to complete the process become a huge oak-tree, which has its own place on the ground, which branches contemplate on the sky proudly and as confident as never. Seeing all this power you can’t help enjoying the work of nature, which is tremendous and priceless. From the moment you slightly touch it you discover a new world of fantasies and realities, of different paths and different worlds. Nothing’s impossible, no prejudices, but boundless freedom. Your tiny world becomes too huge to believe it’s real. You try to understand. Yes, it’s almost the point of total understanding and realizing the unseen before, something extraordinary. Is there any other way? No way! It explains everything, it bids your blood to run, you almost understood all the processes of nature! Almost…But suddenly the huge power turns away and shows the other side. This path will definitely lead to feelings that must spread your wings, you’ll be able to fly away. But the path is still unknown. What way should I choose? Should I fight or give up? Should I get down on my knees and pray or be an atheistic jerk? I’ll touch the great power again, there is the answer there! But something happened to your oak-tree. Why don’t you feel anything? Where did it go? Is it me to blame? Or maybe something just has happened to the tree? I can’t handle this. I am something more profound! But the birth of evil outdoor irritants curbed the bliss. The root is bleeding – the tiny particles of light which are only a parody of the late power. It is nothing. Your kidneys brought all the remained drugs out. It is dead.

No more metaphors. Hey Marilyn, where are you now? What has happened to you, the king of teenagers? Can’t believe it may happen to be a golden halo of those woodcutters. You are not so primitive.

So let’s try to make the things that don’t have sense become meaningful.  

Who is or was Marilyn Manson? It is a combination of beauty and ugliness. It is what art means, to my mind. His epatage was not a trick to earn more money or a trial to win New-York’s heart. It was a huge challenge to the society. He had a really complicated message. But most of all by conscious making himself  ugly he wanted to say that inside America looks as well as he is outside, I mean face, some other features. He hated the institution of church, he didn’t want to be a slave. He understood a lot of different serious things. He was rude and confident. He wasn’t afraid of going revolutionary road after all the shit he had to pull through. By his powerful voice and extraordinary expressive appearance he screamed overstraining his throat that he was disagree and he had no idea what other people would think. These weren’t any loud speeches on an arena or plaza, where he would swing his hands trying to make people believe him. It was a thorny path of writing, performing, singing, being an artist. His creative work had always contained complicated problems and symbolism. His core was pierced by pain and fury, it always  waked up a volcano in people’s hearts. But Marilyn was not dump, he was not just an angry kid, he understood that each road of fighting, protesting and evil must (!) lead to love, kindness and peace. That’s why Marilyn Mason was a combination of black and white, that’s why he was Great and Awful, that’s why he was art. No art can be called real art without being based on love and kindness. Without it art becomes rotten and insincere. It is urine. With his rampant rush Marilyn Manson became a creature of worship and hatred from the side of admirers and haters.

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Let’s leave the symbolism and just say that he is not the same as he used to be before. Parts became sluggish and with no rousing notes of anger in his voice. Hoarseness doesn’t work. No passion, no craziness, no power. Just an ordinary VEVO star. Maybe something has happened in his life, maybe he understood something special for himself, maybe he is just tired and has no strength to keep on rocking Marilyn Manson way. Or he just can’t find the sense, art is love, so maybe he just didn’t have time to fell in love so he still remains to be a weird loner… But as he admitted the changes let’s leave him and wish good luck and be happy in life.

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Let’s turn to Lady Gaga – Mother-Monster.

To analyze her creative work we have to go back to basics, turn to her past.

She started her career with first album “Fame”. There were very nice songs there. She wanted to be a star, to look sexy and put on pop shows. She managed to do this.

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Her fame was growing with each passing day, all her dreams were about to come true. “The Fame Monster” was ready. Tremendous success, ecstatic reviews, invitations to the most famous shows in the world, numerous photo sessions, and a successful world tour were just a part of her new life. The life a woman who worked so much, who developed, who had naive dreams, but all this brought her to the place where she can realize herself the way she wants it to be.

Monster Ball Tour. She is the mother of monsters, she was the queen of her own show, she just rocked. Everything was there: good songs, performamces, well-known costumes, tears, smiles, speeches, anger and tenderness. She was sincere and inspired the crowd of fans, who put their hands up and screamed.

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Born This Way era. In 2011 the 3rd album of Lady Gaga was released. To be honest, it is really the best piece of music of 2011. The songs are very good, with good lyrics, good message. Gaga wanted it to important for people, to teach them to be who you are and believe in yourself. All this is of course very good. BUT as for me Gaga became completely dishonest, insincere and greedy for money.

Suddenly Gaga became a devoted fighter for the rights of gays. It is very good, of course, when somebody wants to protect people, but you are free to disagree with me, I think that it is very good for Gaga when those gays buy tickets to her concerts, spend their money on her. There are lots of gays nowadays and they are a great part of Lady Gaga’s monsters.

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Why did such a great album as Born This Way fail? Maybe because people got tired of it? This is not strange. The album was being sold just everywhere: in airports, in shops, in the streets. Gaga was really foisting her album on everyone’s arms. It’s been a year after Born This Way was released but still she is having her new tour. I can compare this work with a cherry chewing-gum. When you put it into your mouth it is tasty, you like it. But after a white the chewing-gum starts losing its taste and in the end becomes tasteless. The same happened to Gaga.

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Born This Way Foundation. It is ridiculous. It is obvious that this program is to bring Gaga nothing but promotion and money. Seriously? You are going to protect gay kids this way? Really? How? Are you going to land them your disco stick so they could punch evil teenagers? Dear Gaga, no more your riding-round-the-country bus, which won’t help, no more eloquent speeches, don’t you pretend to believe this is going to change something. Nobody will follow people who shout their brilliant thoughts from a big arena. Why not to shut up and try to change the world using art and your influence? Why not to be sincere with people? Ah, I have forgotten! This will cut your golden chain.

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Born This Way Ball Tour: The Monster Ball 3.0

It is true that a lot of people wanted to see your new show as you had always been good at it. But when I saw this, I’m sorry, it is pathetic and very dull. I was shocked by costumes and the stage. Lady Gaga, I think with your money spent you could have prepared something much-much-much-much better. Let’s analyze.

First of all the stage looks like a big dark spot. And why a castle? You see Lady Gaga is more and more digressing from Born This Way conception.

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I was also shocked by performances.

Let’s talk about costumes. Frankly speaking, they are ugly. She is not sexy. And I don’t like her huge tails. Sometimes she looks ridiculous and ugly.

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(This Bad Romance costume was definitely for irritating Christians, who has always compare her with the Devil.)

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Also the performances themselves were very weak and dull. For example:

“Bloody Mary” – she was just riding on the stage with this weird costume om, which is often compared with vacuum cleaner. Gaga, is that all you could create for such a great song? Even a cat and a dog would put on a better show.

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“Heavy Metal Lover” – I waited so much from this performance! Riding on a bike with your ass being smacked. Is that all? Where is your “full house of leather”, where is glitter, depravity, rousing dancing in erotic costumes? Shame on you!

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What about “You and I”? Indeed it is a very good song. One of the best ballads. But Gaga spoilt it with her water-nymphs. While she was singing it, the half of the song she just hold he hand raised up and the rest part of the song she spent on a piano-bike. Well done! Horrible!

Another performance just killed me. It is a naked stealing of a well-known Madonna’s performance from Blond Ambition Tour. Gays, sofa, pointed bra. It looks like Gaga to be project which is called “Let’s take the best from Madonna and make it appropriate for modern generation”.

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But the most horrible thing about Born This Way Ball is Gaga’s emotionless face. Look. It is stony. Where are your emotions? Where are tears, happiness, kindness and anger? Where’s fighting and love? This time you don’t bring peace and freedom, you don’t inspire! You are a Monster! An evil Monster. We can’t read your Poker Face, so it means you are just being insincere. It’s a pity. Look at her face!

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Have you ever pondered over why Gaga started her tour from Asia? Because America is awfully tired of Lady Gaga and in Asia she is something new and interesting, so she went there to make an experiment, to create something new and interesting with what she’ll be able to come to Europe and USA. This will just warm up the interest to her. So the conclusion is that Born This Way Ball is nothing but chasing money and selling “Lady Gaga” product.

Dear Lady Gaga! I am person with an immortal hope, so I hope that you’ll change. You should understand who you want to be. Stop being a product and become an artist again. But you already lost. While you are thinking and putting BTW Ball on, something strong, great and powerful is coming. This is a tornado which will crash all of you. There is no way to survive, the next big thing to bite you in your ass has written a great number of great songs. By the way, she is not interested in money and stupid charts, because she is already confident in her talent, power and sexuality.

Good luck,

Alex

☮ Mood

26 Feb

The most important is love and kindness, ecumenical love to music, life, people and nothing can substitute it, any epatage, any cool vocals, NO-THING can.

                                                                                                            N.T

I was inspired to write this note by these words of one girld, “The Next Big Thing”.

I wanna share some of my thoughts about life. I am just 15, actually I can’t say I have a huge life experience, but this is what I think today. It doesn’t mean it can’t be right.

To start with, I’d like you to look at the world now. What do we see? We can see people running around, trying to find their happiness. Sometimes it is so pathetic and it makes me wanna puke. I mean the celebrities. All this insincerity, chasing money, power. I don’t believe this can be the sense of life. And yes. I’m am the one who will say “You are fakes” standing on the ground, burning all bridges, making you turn your brain and heart on.

Love. It runs the world. No art, no life can exist without love. Love and tears are the most artless feelings. We can’t be creative without tenderness, without loving, without tears. This is natural, so it is very beautiful. We are people. Do you really think that money can be better than watching your love standing next to you, being with one in a million, one of a kind? We should forget all the stupid principles or prejudices and open our hearts. And it doesn’t matter to what you have love. To music, to a person, to your hobby. Love is the state of your sole. It can’t be judged or even justified. This helps us not to shoot ourselves in the world where people try to say that they are the best “because they wear a pink wig”.

“Christina Aguilera – Bound to You”

Kindness. “To make peace, not war”. This all to be said about kindness. People are different, so to stay people we should just understand that, for example, these idiotic “Fan Wars” are idiotic. This is a waste of time.  

I love my life. Life is such an amazing thing! All my next words bring revolutionary meaning.

We live in a very critical society now. A lot of people find some periouds of life very difficult for this or that reason.
You don’t have a very good time in high school. People try to blow you out. You are called a freak. Do you think you should let them break you ? Do you think you should go home to your mom crying « Oh I have no frinds ». No ! Study really hard, read all the books in the library, become stronger, become the best to show them that they are freaks. And then you understand that you won ’cause most of those cool guys are struggling all the life, at 18 they  are at their pick. So squeeze your fists and prove that you are the best, ‘because you are. There is no way a person can be great without working and believing in his spirit to succeed.

“Lady Gaga – Born This Way”

Whether life’s disabilities left you outcast, bullied, or teased, rejoice and love yourself today, ’cause baby you were born this way. 
                                                                                                Lady Gaga

When your life tells you « You are an asshole ! I am your life. And I’m gonna bite you in your ass again and again ! I want you to have nothing. I want you to sit on your coach watching TV, whining you have no friends, you are not pretty, not talented enough. Try to fight with your shitty life to become stronger, to get rid of all your insecurities. Stop slapping yourself !”, you should find strength and smack her, hit her! Life like everything and always is difficult. The spark which is inside everyone can’t be extinguished. So when your life comes back to bite you in your ass again you should put a muzzle on it and hold your life on a short lead.
I am always inspired by people who work a lot to become the best. I love people saying “Tonight my religion is working” with all my heart. There are no words to explain who much I respect them. I mean not doing just some work. I mean working on yourself. Developing. Forgetting all the drinks, all the people trying to make you live an empty life. Set a goal and work on it. This is how being successful goes. You can’t help agreeing that this is so dull when a boy who is 18 drives a Mercedes SLR McLaren just because his influential daddy gave him money. Much more interesting when a girl who has no money, no car, who learns the words almost all day, who writes songs, who tries to bring something new in this world, something clever, becomes a rockstar. Not for money. To have fame, to reach what she has been dreaming about, to teach other people to be artless, to become stronger, to stand their ground. There is no epatage here. Only talent, work, heart, brain and will power. 
So, please, listen to your heart! Forget all the words people said, all the fears, follow your dream, never stop! Get rid of all envy and hypocrisies. Be natural. Think. Stop listening to any advice, create your own life! Find your inspiration. Start doing it right now. Do what you want. Do everything to become happy, work on your dream. Make your mistakes, have your own experience, try, try and try even if this is not one of the society’s points of laws. Don’t think of critics, don’t listen to others, “They are just a crowd”. Don’t be afraid of something people don’t like. And yes again. I tell you not to listen to your parents. This is your life! Don’t allow this disrespect! Forget all the pros and cons. Nothing’s perfect. Do you really think those people know better how life goes?

Who actually knows where this fucking truth is. Don’t allow being controlled. If nobody understands you, fuck them all. Do you really need the respect of your classmates or people who you don’t know at all? Don’t give up your dream, fight for it, stand on your own, never accept less than you deserve!
 
So I want a musician to write the best songs, to learn the words, to become the best ever. I want a journalist to write notes, to try to make this world better b want people to make this world better. To become better. In the reality I can’t expect people to become better or even try to do this. But in my heart I believe that this is possible. I don’t like the reality. It measures you. And… hm… don’t you dare to try to make me think this is not right. I am a man, damn it! I will do what I feel in my heart.
 
So do all the things, follow your art not to show somebody something, but to do it because you feel this. Inside.
 
In the conclusion it remains only to say that art doesn’t mean being dishonest. Art should flood from your heart. Art is everything you do. This is priceless because it is your own story. And I wanna apologize for having written such a long story. I am not the best writer, you can even find my story dull, it’s OK. I have done this because I felt that I should do this. I also hope that you managed to understand all the things I tries to explain.
 I wanna add that I’ll be very glad if at least one person has enough patient to read all this till the end.   

Your Life Is Not a Theater But Art