The perfect world… but unreal.

25 Feb

I hate the reality. I hate all this. The reality means being measured. That’s why I have to create my own world. The only imperfection of it is its perfection. Perfection means being unhappy all the time. Because this is impossible.

I’m am a human being. This is what I understood after lots of hours of digging myself. This means I’m am an artist. I have to create my life. This is not the truth. This is all lies. Did I tell telling lies is so bad?

When there is nothing good, you have to create it. This is what I know. To create something good  you have to create your own world. The real world sucks. People die, people are killed by people. A lot of people wish u sucked. So you are to be alone. To stay with your thoughts and try to imagine a little island, where you will feel ok. This is what I did. This is a place where I have some of my closest friends, a $20.000.000 flat in the centre of NYC. Fame. This is unreal. Yet. When I reach it, I’ll try to convince myself that this is what I wanted. This is what I reached! This is great! But this is not. You lie again and again. There is no perfect world! You have to fight and fight again for your rights, for being a personality. This is hard. This brings you down sometimes. So why not to lie yourself? Why not to imagine this is all the truth.

To live. This is the only principle I have. I imagine that I’ll always be alive. So I have to do a lot of things. This helps to believe that all your great plans for future and present will come true. This helps to believe in your power.

 I can’t undersrand this pathetic world. These celebrities doing all this dirty stuff just to promote themselves. More, more, more money. This is what they need.

I adore this unreal world. Here a singer will sing just to express her thoughts, just to sing. Just to follow her dream.

Almost no one can understnad this world. People are surprised by it. In the bad sense. They are idiots. Is there anything good here? This stupid world makes her be miles away from me. No, I don’t want to fuck her, I don’t want her to do something for me. I just want her to exist. That’s why it hurts so much to know that Mona Lisa exists. Did u know she is small?

And right now I promise to the darkness of this room, I promise to u, fucking queen, if u are reading all this you should know that all the symbolism from above is left behind. I promise to make my world as perfect as I can. Do u know that we will never stop ? We will never  be really happy ’cause we’ll always try more and more. More and more. Until we die. Isn’t it happiness?

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